‘Avengers 4’ Will Test Your Bladder With 3-Hour Runtime

Thanos may have wiped out half of your favorite superheroes with a snap of his fingers, but he’s not done torturing you yet. In an Instagram chat promoting he and his brother’s new bar, Duello, director Joe Russo has revealed that the pre-edited runtime for upcoming Marvel superhero event film Avengers 4 currently rests at a robust three hours. There is currently no word on whether Disney and Marvel will allow for an intermission to give movie fans a chance to stretch their legs, visit the restroom, buy additional snacks, or work on obtaining their law degree.

“The running time on Avengers 4 is currently sitting right at three hours. We’ll see if that holds,” Russo said, no doubt smirking gleefully at the image of theater patrons sipping on their beverages during the first half-hour of the film, knowing full well that most people will have to visit the facilities during crucial moment later in the film. He also noted that the final runtime of the film is a moving target, as much of the film still needs to be cobbled together before it can be presented to the public for consumption.

“We’re about halfway through the editing process. We’re really just scratching the surface on our VFX shots. There are more than 3,000 VFX shots in the movie; those require a lot of time and thought and energy and effort, and we’re very early in the phase of getting VFX done. We’ve just started work with Alan Silvestri on the score, and we’re still editing picture at this point,” Russo stated, chuckling as he pictured 21-and-over moviegoers sipping on 24-ounce beers during the fourteen trailers that will play before the film even starts.

“Will the stakes be higher [for your bladders] in Avengers 4? Absolutely. 100 percent,” Russo said, cackling maniacally at the thought of suggesting that desperate comic book fans wear adult diapers in order to avoid missing a single moment of Marvel’s longest-to-date cinematic achievement. “The highest [chance you’ll need a pee-break] of any of the films to date, without question.”

Avengers 4 will test your bladder on May 3, 2019. We suggest you begin training your body immediately to ensure that you don’t miss the death of Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, etc.

Christopher Aanerud: I graduated from the University of Georgia with an English degree. I enjoy watching movies and TV shows, playing video games, singing badly to pop songs in the car, eating delicious food, and drinking fine alcoholic beverages. I play basketball when my crippling knee and back pain allows, and I try to hit the gym on a regular basis. I have a son and a sugar glider, and when I'm not combing the internet for breaking news I am likely traveling or riding my Razor scooter.
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