Welcome to the Weekly Trailer Roundup, where we count down the top five trailers released in the past week, “top” being defined any way we want to at the moment…exciting, ridiculous, best, worst…

These are the trailers that, for one reason or another, you should be paying attention to. 

The Weekly Trailer Roundup is all about hard cuts. If you’re only going to watch five trailers all week, which ones should they be? This week the cuts were bloody; as bloody, dare we say, as Leonidas churning through a wave of Persians, as we whittled a field of 30 down to the top five. Well, five plus two honorable mentions we just couldn’t possibly cut out. And after much consideration we didn’t include the 300 sequel trailer – there were just too many others that looked good – but you should go watch it for the sheer stupidity of it all (links to the all 23 that didn’t make the cut are below).

Honorable Mention – Diana Teaser Trailer

The fact that this is only a teaser is the only thing that keeps if off the numbered list. As we mentioned Wednesday, this looks like a potential award winner for Naomi Watts.

Honorable Mention – Magic Magic Official Trailer #1

Michael Cera has yet to convince me, but the casting against type is compelling and this movie looks super creepy in all the right ways (aka not a gross-out session, but actually psychologically frightening).

And now the countdown!

#5 – Elysium Trailer #2

While I acknowledge Neill Blomkamp’s skill as a director, District 9 did not win me over as it did so many others. That said, I’m super excited for Elysium, and as long as it doesn’t get too explosion-heavy, it looks like it could be very good.

#4 – In A World Theatrical Trailer

A trailer about a movie about trailers. You know the stereotypical, “In a world,” voiceover lead in to a movie trailer? That’s where the title comes from. And this directoral debut from Lake Bell (Children’s Hospital, How To Make It in America) looks very funny.

#3 – Terms and Conditions May Apply Theatrical Trailer #1

Talk about truly creepy. We all know that Facebook and Google know a lot about us. This documentary aims to point out how much, not to mention how many others have that information and what they can do with it.

#2 – Man of Tai Chi International Trailer

Yes, this is the Keanu Reeves-directed martial arts movie. But you know what? This looks like it could be pretty good. Not in line for a very wide audience, maybe, but plenty fun for a certain cross section. Plus, in a trailer that features one-on-one fights to the death, someone actually says, “Finish him!” Makes the list on that merit alone.

#1 – The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Official Teaser Trailer

This is not a teaser trailer, no matter what they want to call it. A lot of people were disappointed by the style of the first Hobbit installment. Both this trailer and I will remind those people: The Hobbit is not The Lord of the Rings. The two books are very different, and to me Jackson’s Hobbit has nailed that tonal difference so far.

Want to see what we were picking from? Check out the rest of the trailers in the links below and give us your own top five lists in the comments!

The Frozen Ground Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAu-D0xzzUE

Blue Jasmine Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_f–aY0poI

Filth Official International Red Band Trailer – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOw6iwf0I1g

All Together Now Trailer – http://www.indiewire.com/article/watch-debauchery-in-the-woods-in-all-together-now-trailer

White House Down Official Trailer #3 – http://www.deadline.com/2013/06/video-hot-trailer-white-house-down/

Red 2 Official Trailer #3 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGQHeW5tUC8

Alien Uprising Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbJ7qPeBpu4

Carrie Official International Trailer – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17RBGpEsPro

Stranded Official Trailer #2 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf8O8BvaFcY

Pawn Shop Chronicles Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfg6V4tyfDY

R.I.P.D. Official International Trailer #2 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCvJtozx0AA

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctidPo0v42M

Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain Red Band Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctidPo0v42M

300: Rise of an Empire Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5ei2rLnXsY

The To-Do List Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKGigK17eSs

The Wolverine International Trailer #2 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmcBOIfhHQY

Under The Bed Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3jQNTmI-do

Snowpiercer International Trailer – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6UmqNuMdY4

Touchy Feely Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8psIhHWxtJE

Blood Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RSqvXsvn6o

Killing Season Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yseYEtQoJQ

Salinger Official Trailer #1 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRdv9KeonCk