Weekly Trailer Roundup - 12/15/14 Thru 12/21/14

Greg Rodgers December 22nd, 2014 - 2:42 PM

Welcome to the Weekly Trailer Roundup, where we count down the top five trailers released in the past week, “top” being defined any way we want to at the moment…exciting, ridiculous, best, worst…

These are the trailers that, for one reason or another, you should be paying attention to.

Oof, what a week. Not only did the First Amendment take a hit, but now our government finds itself in an escalating conflict with an angry foreign country – all over a movie Seth Rogen and James Franco came up with when they were stoned. Not a great week for Hollywood. And thus we look at the past week’s trailers in search of something safer. Harmless. Something guaranteed to piss off no one. Is it possible? Let’s find out. . .

#5 – Supremacy

Okay, a wholly fictional movie with a bunch of B and C-level actors that will probably fly under the radar. As long as the story is something safe and non controversial . . . what’s that? It’s about a white supremacist who gets out of prison and holds an African-American family hostage? Oooh boy . . . not a good start. Threat level: Apparently Danny Glover will never be too old for this sh*t.

#4 – Tracers

This is better. If you can’t find a happy subject, at least make it a movie absolutely no one will want to see, and Taylor Lautner’s presence here pretty much guarantees that. Still, the rather liberal cribbing of ideas and entire scenes from movies like Premium Rush, Casino Royale, and Point Break makes this ripe for some good old fashioned intra-Hollywood retribution. Safe . . . .but not safe enough. Threat level: Taylor Lautner is out there . . . . lurking.

#3 – Knight of Cups

Now we’re talking. An artistic tone poem on the excesses of Hollywood? No one is going to argue with that. Threat level: Terrence Malick would prefer every movie were shot entirely with fish-eye lenses.

#2 – Ana Maria in Novela Land

Pure escapist fluff, I love it! Although I suppose Mexican soap opera stars could take offense . . . Threat level: Luis Guzman has a mortgage to pay too, guys.

#1 – The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Eureka! We’ve found it, literally the most innocuous trailer ever made. It’s a bunch of lovable older actors in a romantic comedy. Threat level: Tea and biscuits with Dame Judi Dench.