At its core, Alfonso Cuarón’s 2001 film Y Tu Mamá También is unapologetically sexual. The film is explicit- with displays of nudity, scenes of intimacy and graphic dialogue, so much so that it might even be considered excessive at certain points. Nevertheless, the excessiveness is not there for shock value, but rather as a tool in order to examine how personal desire in the film is intertwined with the social and political climate of 1990’s Mexico. What initially presents itself as an inherently sexual coming of age film slowly morphs into a timeless exploration of repressed vulnerability, masculinity, and the complexities of connection. Ultimately, sexuality is not used to provoke, but rather to showcase how desire is embedded in the characters lives and makes commentary on the tensions within the society that they live in.
While other films chose to portray sex in a glorified way, the scenes of intimacy within Y Tu Mamá También are purposefully messy, reflecting on the main characters Tenoch and Julio’s internal struggles as young men navigating societal pressures along with their own developing hormones. Their sexual encounters are far from put together- instead they are raw and uncomfortable, directly capturing the confusion that comes with growing up. This portrayal strips away any notion of glorification, and instead exposes how Julio and Tenoch’s perception of desire is rooted within fear and the expectations set on their identities as men. Julio and Tenoch’s friendship is marked by competition, and while it is clearly driven by machismo culture, an undertone of vulnerability haunts their friendship. The boys have constant vulgar conversations about sex, but it is not meant to foster genuine connection towards each other. Rather, it is to prove themselves while masking their own insecurities. Their crude jokes act as a form of armor, successfully concealing the fragility that lies underneath the bravado that they display in front of each other.
Their friendship also harbors an unspoken level queer tension that further complicates their closeness. Julio and Tenoch’s extremely superfluous portrayals of their own heterosexuality through conversations about sex directly clash with moments of physical closeness and emotional intimacy between the two, something that neither of them wish to acknowledge or confront. Throughout the film, Julio and Tenoch’s friendship is never explicitly labeled as anything. This choice of ambiguity is unconventional, but purposeful. By resisting a clear definition of their friendship ,the film reflects on the notion of how teenage desire is complicated- it’s filled with unspoken words and moments left to interpretation. When examining their friendship from a queer lens, it’s almost as if their extremely heterosexual male performances are meant to mask a deeper connection between the two. The exaggerated masculinity found through their boasting and competitiveness can be seen as a defense mechanism in regards to acknowledging feelings that do not traditionally fit within the attitude that they are expected to have as within their society. This overcompensation highlights how fragile their own identities are because it directly challenges the foundation of who they are supposed to be. No matter how much they talk about their sexual experiences and challenge each other to one up the other, queerness still quietly exists, disrupting their friendship and making them question how they truly feel about one another.
In a scene in which they confess to having slept with each other’s girlfriends, a betrayal as simple as infidelity reveals contradictions in their friendship. The act in itself was not about emotion, but rather action. Instead of expressing their true feelings about each other, their actions seemingly become a way to assert dominance on the other. Julio and Tenoch did not sleep with each other’s girlfriends out of feelings of jealousy, they did so in order to prove themselves while continuing to hide their own feelings behind aggressive behavior. Julio and Tenoch’s repression of queerness has now spilled into destructive behavior, thus making their relationship towards one another even more intricate. The simple act of crossing that boundary adds tension towards what their friendship truly means, especially when both boys have unspoken feelings they refuse to admit.
The queerness is not meant to just be a personal struggle between Julio and Tenoch, but rather as a metaphor for the larger cultural and political scheme of Mexico during the time period the movie is set in. Y Tu Mamá También starts at the turn of the 21st century, a time in which Mexico was undergoing immense political and social upheaval. The country was dealing with the effects of economic disparity and political corruption that divided privileged and underprivileged communities. Julio and Tenoch’s aggressive display of machismo behavior and repression of their own feelings serves as a metaphor for the country itself. As Mexico dealt with the loosening of PRI rule and political corruption, the country found itself caught between old tradition and newfound political and social changes. As Julio and Tenoch struggled to dampen their authentic selves through actions of exaggerated masculinity, Mexico was struggling to adjust its current systems with calls of transformation. The tensions between tradition and change is woven into the portrayal of Julio and Tenoch, as their constant need to assert masculinity covers up the queerness that could affect their friendship. In a society where machismo culture is meant to dominate, any sort of separation such as this queerness is to be suppressed or even denied. In essence, it is through this repression that Julio and Tenoch’s friendship reflect the backdrop of the film.
In regards to their emotional dynamic, Julio and Tenoch’s class difference adds another layer of complication and serves its purpose as a manifestation of the inequalities found in Mexico during this time. Julio comes from a modest background while Tenoch is part of a politically connected and wealthy family. The social disparity is present throughout the film in not only their world views, but also within their relationship towards each other. Tenoch’s privilege is something that Julio can only observe and never experience for himself, which only adds to the tension between the two. This difference is meant to showcase the divide within Mexico, but it also accentuates how Julio and Tenoch’s perception of the other. Julio’s insecurities about his class status fuels his competitiveness towards Tenoch, whether he would like to admit it or not. For Tenoch, this level of confidence is something that he was born into, but is also what attracts and separates Julio from him at the same time. In a sense, their relationship shows on a smaller scale the way that social class can affect interpersonal relationships and the barriers it creates. When this is considered in regards to the homoerotic aspect of their friendship, the misunderstandings and difference in lifestyle fuels a resentment that adds depth to the emotional complexity between the two. It is through Julio and Tenoch’s friendship that the film highlights how social disparity can do more than just divide people- it divides relationships and shapes how individuals can interact with each other on a more intimate level. This difference becomes a metaphor for how social inequality suppresses an authentic level of connection and instead forces individuals into uncomfortable conformity.
Julio and Tenoch’s friendship becomes more complicated when Luisa is introduced. Luisa is a catalyst towards their masculinity and the friction that lingers between Julio and Tenoch because unlike them, she is able to acknowledge and take control of her own sexuality as a woman with a level of confidence that bothers the ostentation that they display. Luisa’s confidence places a mirror in front of the boys, forcing them to confront the things that they ignore, such as insecurity or even a desire for true human connection, whether it is romantically or platonically. While both boys display sexual desire towards Luisa, her presence seems to break down the walls of heterosexuality that the boys have been hiding behind throughout their journey. In one scene, their car breaks down as they are heading towards the beach and tensions reach their breaking point. Julio and Tenoch start arguing, with Luisa confronting them and stating “The only thing you want is to fuck each other”. This accusation is like a knife, cutting through the facade that Julio and Tenoch display because they both know that there is a level of truth behind Luisa’s words.
As the film progresses towards the end, Luisa decides to stay behind after the trip, with the boys heading back home. Julio and Tenoch stop hanging out, and eventually drift apart. In the final scene of the movie, the boys have a chance encounter in Mexico City and meet at a cafe. They discuss how their lives have changed after the trip, but the conversation flows awkwardly as they are no longer emotionally connected like they used to be. It is during this scene that Tenoch reveals to Julio that Luisa passed away from cancer a month after the trip. There is a moment of silence, symbolizing the end of innocence for the boys and a transition from youthful recklessness to the reality of adult life. Tenoch sharing this news manages to break through some walls, but the mention of the one person that brought them together is not enough to repair the damage to their bond. Although this confession temporarily closes the gap of distance between Julio and Tenoch, it still lingers alongside the queerness that the pair will never reveal to each other. The boys do not linger on this grief, much like how they never lingered on the intimacy that brewed between them. In a way, the ending reinforces just how deeply repression has been intertwined within their lives. What disrupted their friendship is not fixed, but rather thrown into the void. The separation between Julio and Tenoch was not only a result of growing up, but instead a consequence of their refusal to admit their feelings towards each other. The ending scenes encapsulate the film as a whole, portraying how growth and development is always filled with moments of regret and a confrontation of reality.
For Luisa, she exists not as an object of romance, but rather as a mediator for the tension between Julio and Tenoch. Her sexuality is not something for them to conquer, but instead something for them to understand and learn from as it is based within choice, not competition. Julio and Tenoch’s sexual performances are ingrained in insecurity and competition with one another, while Luisa’s agency of her own sexuality is grounded in honesty and purpose, most likely because she knows she is going to die. This directly contrasts Julio and Tenoch’s awareness of their own sexuality and the choices that they make because of it as they are stuck in the machismo standard that has been set upon them by society. Luisa seems to express no shame over the choices that she makes and resists any notion of modesty, making her sexuality not performative, but purposeful. Luisa successfully disrupts the dynamic between the boys and exposes the lack of authenticity within the masculine roles that they cling to.
While Luisa’s actions could be understood as something that is driven because of her own awareness of mortality, it is not emphasized that way in the film as her diagnosis and death are not revealed until the last scene. Leaving her fate unspoken until the end allows for her character to exist as something beyond tragedy, making her not a figure of death and loss, but a figure of revelation. Luisa’s presence forced the boys to confront their avoidance towards their own queer desire, but she did not do so by truly resolving anything between them. Instead, she exposed the vulnerabilities that eventually lead to the end of Julio and Tenoch’s friendship. Luisa’s omission of presence in the very last scenes of the film tie to the absence of closeness between Julio and Tenoch after their journey, acknowledging the fact that sometimes growth will not come from closure, but is instead forced by the lack of it.
Y Tu Mamá También was never meant to be a coming of age story, but rather a beautiful portrayal of Mexico told through the story of two boys going on an adventure with an older woman. While the story of the three is a direct lens that speaks to deeper themes of sexuality and identity, the unspoken desire between Julio and Tenoch tangles itself within societal expectations that mirrors their country’s struggle with change. Although Julio and Tenoch will never be able to fully name what existed between them, Y Tu Mamá También teaches the audience that human connection is the most important thing to preserve in times of uncertainty.
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