Oscar-nominated Keira Knightley has made it clear she has no interest in returning to the franchise she began starring in at age 17.

Knightley told The Times of London, “It’s a funny thing when you have something that was making and breaking you at the same time.” She rose to fame after the success of Pirates of the Caribbean and films such as Pride & Prejudice.

“I was seen as sh– because of them, and yet because they did so well, I was given the opportunity to do the films that I ended up getting Oscar nominations for [Pride & Prejudice and The Imitation Game],” Knightley said. “They were the most successful films I’ll ever be a part of, and they were the reason that I was taken down publicly. So they’re a very confused place in my head.”

Knightley appeared in the first three installments of Pirates of the Caribbean, playing Elizabeth Swann. She said she was deeply affected by the demanding schedule and expectations placed upon her.

In her interview with The Times of London, Knightley reflected on the intense scrutiny from the media and the criticism she faced. Rising to stardom at a young age, she said Hollywood treated her as an object rather than a person. “I knew I wasn’t,” she said, addressing media speculation about her having an eating disorder. “I knew I was eating … in that classic trauma way I don’t remember it. There’s been a complete delete, and then some things will come up, and I’ll suddenly have a very bodily memory of it because, ultimately, it’s public shaming, isn’t it? It’s obviously part of my psyche, given how young I was when it happened. I’ve been made around it.”

Knightley’s next project is the spy thriller Black Doves, coming to Netflix on Dec. 5.