Welcome to the Weekly Trailer Roundup, where we count down the top five trailers released in the past week, “top” being defined any way we want to at the moment…exciting, ridiculous, best, worst…
These are the trailers that, for one reason or another, you should be paying attention to.
You’ve heard the word of mouth. You’ve read about them on your favorite websites. You’ve told yourself it’s time to broaden your horizons. But still, you won’t see them. Maybe they’re not playing in your nearest theater (a half hour is way too long of a drive). Maybe you don’t like to watch them on a computer screen (it’s just so small). Maybe physical copies are too expensive (and Amazon makes you wait five whole days for shipping). Whatever the excuse, they’re the movies you’re never going to see, and here are their trailers.
#5 – Joker Game
“A war movie? Is Bradley Cooper in it? No? Sorry, not interested.”
#4 – Woman in Gold
“Ryan Reynolds and Nazis? Sorry, but when has a comedic actor doing something serious ever worked?”
#3 – To Write Love on Her Arms
“Depression, that sounds important and relatable. Oh, Kat Dennings is the star. Sorry, I just can’t take her seriously if she’s not acting opposite a weather-based god.”
#2 – Phantasm: Ravager
“Sorry, but if a horror franchise hasn’t been rebooted it can’t be worth watching.”
#1 – Parasyte 2
“It looks like what would happen if David Cronenberg made a superhero movie? Sorry, but I only watch movies based on Japanese comic books with spiky hair and Ernie Hudson.”