Welcome to the Weekly Trailer Roundup, where we count down the top five trailers released in the past week, “top” being defined any way we want to at the moment…exciting, ridiculous, best, worst…
These are the trailers that, for one reason or another, you should be paying attention to.
If there’s anything studios and producers hate, it’s an original, unreliable concept. Let’s face it, a film that hasn’t already proven itself as a book, comic, or another successful film just isn’t a safe investment. So, this week we honor we honor the trailers of films that help investors sleep at night. The trailers that live in a world wrought with adaptations and sequels, and dare to be exactly the same.
#5 – Match
Now Match, we appreciate you having the guy who was in Star Trek and X-Men and the guy who was in the Scooby-Doo in your cast, but of all the different kinds of adaptations did you have to be a play adaptation? Who watches those?
Shame on you Pan. Trying to put an original spin on the classic Peter Pan story by combining it with Batman Begins, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, Oz the Great and Powerful, Oliver Twist… on second thought, you’re good.
#3 – Kingsman: The Secret Service
You had us worried, Kingsman. What with your metafictional, self-referential movie based on a comic book. Then we remembered Wanted, Kick-Ass, and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Thought you were out of the ordinary for a minute.
#2 – Jurassic World
Slowly approaching island. Wide-eyed children. Running Raptors. Upward shot of long-necked dinosaur. Emotional awe-inspiring piano music. The one guy who realizes this is all insane and a sin against nature. Congratulations Jurassic World; you’ve hit every familiar beat from the series.
#1 – Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Congratulations, Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Seventh entry in a film series – a films series with more than three spin-off television series, dozens of videogames, hundreds of books and comics, and spatulas. Everyone and their descendants four generations from now have already bought you.
And the rest of this week’s trailers: