Welcome to the Weekly Trailer Roundup, where we count down the top five trailers released in the past week, “top” being defined any way we want to at the moment…exciting, ridiculous, best, worst…
These are the trailers that, for one reason or another, you should be paying attention to.
In a world ruled by soundbite news, tweets, memes, and vines it’s important to get your message out as quickly and in as few words as possible. So, this week we celebrate the trailers that sell themselves with their very first sentences. Here’s to brevity. Damn, should have made that intro shorter.
#5 – Escobar: Paradise Lost
“All empires are created of fire & blood.” – Pablo Escobar
We’re sure the proceeding trailer contains much fire and blood, not lots of pretty hats.
#4 – The Mule
“Drop your pants.”
Admit it, you want to know why his pants had to go.
#3 – Pulp: A Film About Life, Death & Supermarkets
“Just you, stood there, only in your underwear.”
Look, we can’t help if two trailers had opening lines that involved the loss of pants. We’re not even into that. Shut up.
#2 – Avengers: Age of Ultron
“Heh, heh, heh.”
Simple but effective. Or just simple. Whatever, it’s The Avengers. You were sold to begin with.
#1 – Cosplay Fetish Battle Drones
“Your six traumas have created a tumor in the collective unconscious.”
We hear this was the original opening line to the new Annie when Will Smith and his daughter were involved.
And the trailers that didn’t get to the point quick enough: